Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live.

Martin Golding

All computers wait at the same speed.


A misplaced decimal point will always end up where it will do the greatest damage.


A good programmer looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.


A computer program does what you tell it to do, not what you want it to do.


"Intel Inside" is a Government Warning required by Law.


Common sense gets a lot of credit that belongs to cold feet.

Arthur Godfrey

Chuck Norris doesn’t go hunting. Chuck Norris goes killing.


Chuck Norris counted to infinity... twice.


C is quirky, flawed, and an enormous success.


Beta is Latin for still doesn’t work.


ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!


Artificial Intelligence usually beats natural stupidity.


Any fool can use a computer. Many do.

Ted Nelson

Hey! It compiles! Ship it!


Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.

Martin Luther King Junior

Guns don’t kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.


God is real, unless declared integer.


First, solve the problem. Then, write the code.

John Johnson

Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.

Oscar Wilde

Every piece of software written today is likely going to infringe on someone else’s patent.

Miguel de Icaza

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.


Computers do not solve problems, they execute solutions.


I have NOT lost my mind—I have it backed up on tape somewhere.


If brute force doesn’t solve your problems, then you aren’t using enough.


It works on my machine.


Java is, in many ways, C++??.


Keyboard not found...Press any key to continue.


Life would be so much easier if we only had the source code.


Mac users swear by their Mac, PC users swear at their PC.


Microsoft is not the answer. Microsoft is the question. "No" is the answer.


MS-DOS isn’t dead, it just smells that way.


Only half of programming is coding. The other 90% is debugging.


Pasting code from the Internet into production code is like chewing gum found in the street.


Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.


Profanity is the one language all programmers know best.


The best thing about a boolean is even if you are wrong, you are only off by a bit.


The nice thing about standards is that there are so many to choose from.


There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can’t.


There is no place like


There is nothing quite so permanent as a quick fix.


There’s no test like production.


To err is human, but for a real disaster you need a computer.


Ubuntu is an ancient African word, meaning "can’t configure Debian"


UNIX is the answer, but only if you phrase the question very carefully.


Usenet is a Mobius strand of spaghetti.


Weeks of coding can save you hours of planning.


When your computer starts falling apart, stop hitting it with a Hammer!


Who is General Failure? And why is he reading my disk?


You can stand on the shoulders of giants OR a big enough pile of dwarfs, works either way.


You start coding. I’ll go find out what they want.


I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

Douglas Adams

I think we agree, the past is over.

George W. Bush

In order to be irreplaceable, one must always be different.

Coco Chanel

In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes.

Andy Warhol

In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.

Robert Frost

It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.

Douglas Adams

It’s kind of fun to do the impossible.

Walt Disney

Java is to JavaScript what Car is to Carpet.

Chris Heilmann

Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers.


Just don’t create a file called -rf.

Larry Wall

Knowledge is power.

Francis Bacon

Let’s call it an accidental feature.

Larry Wall

Linux is only free if your time has no value.

Jamie Zawinski

Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight.

Bill Gates

Never trust a computer you can’t throw out a window.

Steve Wozniak

Nobody expects the Spanish inquisition.

Monty Python

On the Internet, nobody knows you’re a dog.

Peter Steiner

One man’s constant is another man’s variable.

Alan J. Perlis

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

Faith Resnick

Perl - The only language that looks the same before and after RSA encryption.

Keith Bostic

PHP – Yeah, you know me.

PHPaughty by PHPature

The future is here. It is just not evenly distributed yet.

William Gibson

The greatest performance improvement of all is when a system goes from not-working to working.

John Ousterhout

Software is like sex: It’s better when it’s free.

Linus Torvalds

Sour, sweet, bitter, pungent, all must be tasted.

Chinese Proverb

Stay hungry, stay foolish.

Whole Earth Catalog

The artist belongs to his work, not the work to the artist.


The only "intuitive" interface is the nipple. After that it’s all learned.

Bruce Ediger

The only completely consistent people are the dead.

Aldous Huxley

The problem with troubleshooting is that trouble shoots back.

Unknown Author

The three great virtues of a programmer: laziness, impatience, and hubris.

Larry Wall

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

Douglas Adams

When debugging, novices insert corrective code; experts remove defective code.

Richard Pattis

When in doubt, leave it out.

Joshua Bloch

Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy if both are frozen.

Edward V Berard

We cannot learn without pain.


We have always been shameless about stealing great ideas.

Steve Jobs

You can kill a man but you can’t kill an idea.

Medgar Evers

You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.

Scott Adams

You must have chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star.

Friedrich Nietzsche

Without requirements or design, programming is the art of adding bugs to an empty "text" file.

Louis Srygley

Sometimes it pays to stay in bed on Monday, rather than spending the rest of the week debugging Monday’s code.

Dan Salomon

You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.

Wayne Gretzky

One of the biggest problems that software developers face is that technology changes rapidly. It is very hard to stay current.

Vivek Wadhwa

Ideas want to be ugly.

Jason Santa Maria

Developer: an organism that turns coffee into code.


One man´s crappy software is another man´s full time job.

Jessica Gaston

It´s okay to figure out murder mysteries, but you shouldn´t need to figure out code. You should be able to read it.

Steve McConnell

Programming languages, like pizzas, come in only two sizes: too big and too small.

Richard Pattis

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning.

Rich Cook

Plan to throw one (implementation) away; you will, anyhow.

Fred Brooks

Every good work of software starts by scratching a developer´s personal itch


Perfection (in design) is achieved not when there is nothing more to add, but rather when there is nothing more to take away.

Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Prolific programmers contribute to certain disaster.

Niklaus Wirth

Programming can be fun, so can cryptography; however they should not be combined.

Kreitzberg and Shneiderman

It´s better to wait for a productive programmer to become available than it is to wait for the first available programmer to become productive.

Steve McConnell

An organization that treats its programmers as morons will soon have programmers that are willing and able to act like morons only.

Bjarne Stroustrup

Real programmers can write assembly code in any language.

Larry Wall

The key to performance is elegance, not battalions of special cases.

Jon Bentley, Doug McIlroy

Inside every large program, there is a program trying to get out.

C.A.R. Hoare

Why do we never have time to do it right, but always have time to do it over?


The goal of Computer Science is to build something that will last at least until we´ve finished building it.


A good way to stay flexible is to write less code.

Pragmatic Programmer

The best performance improvement is the transition from the nonworking state to the working state.

John Ousterhout

No matter what the problem is, it´s always a people problem.

Gerald M. Weinberg

Every big computing disaster has come from taking too many ideas and putting them in one place.

Gordon Bell

Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later!

Fred Brooks

The best way to get a project done faster is to start sooner

Jim Highsmith

Even the best planning is not so omniscient as to get it right the first time.

Fred Brooks

All you need is love. But a new pair of shoes never hurt anybody.


The best revenge is massive success.

Frank Sinatra

Reality itself is too obvious to be true.

Jean Baudrillard

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

Oscar Wilde

Let me just change this one line of code…


Fast, Good, Cheap. Pick two.


Did you know? The collective noun for a group of programmers is a merge-conflict.


If there is no struggle, there is no progress.

Frederick Douglass

You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.

Albert Einstein

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.

Albert Einstein

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Albert Einstein

A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.

Albert Einstein

Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.

Albert Einstein

When the solution is simple, God is answering.

Albert Einstein

If you can´t explain it simply, you don´t understand it well enough.

Albert Einstein

If the facts don´t fit the theory, change the facts.

Albert Einstein

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.

Albert Einstein

I only believe in statistics that I doctored myself.

Winston S. Churchill?

Men and nations behave wisely when they have exhausted all other resources.

Abba Eban

If you´re going through hell, keep going.


Success is not forever and failure isn´t fatal.

Don Shula

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Mark Twain

The secret of getting ahead is getting started.

Mark Twain

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

Mark Twain

Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.

Mark Twain

Plans are worthless, but planning is everything.

Dwight D. Eisenhower

Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.

Will Ferrell

I just invent, then wait until man comes around to needing what I´ve invented.

R. Buckminster Fuller

The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up.

Muriel Siebert

If you can't write it down in English, you can't code it.

Peter Halpern

Suspicion is healthy. It’ll keep you alive.

Laurell K. Hamilton

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

Faith Resnick

If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t, either.

Dick Cavett

Sometimes I think we´re alone in the universe & sometimes I think we´re not. In either case the idea is quite staggering

Arthur C. Clarke

Talk is cheap, show me the code!

Linus Torvalds

They did not know it was impossible, so they did it!

Mark Twain

You are what you share.

Charles Leadbeater

You want it in one line? Does it have to fit in 80 columns?

Larry Wall

The Internet? Is that thing still around?

Homer Simpson

The journey is the destination.

Dan Eldon

OO programming offers a sustainable way to write spaghetti code. It lets you accrete programs as a series of patches.

Paul Graham

Ruby is rubbish! PHP is phpantastic!

Nikita Popov

So long and thanks for all the fish!

Douglas Adams

If I had more time, I would have written a shorter letter.


The best reaction to "this is confusing, where are the docs" is to rewrite the feature to make it less confusing, not write more docs.

Jeff Atwood

The older I get, the more I believe that the only way to become a better programmer is by not programming.

Jeff Atwood

"That hardly ever happens" is another way of saying "it happens".

Douglas Crockford

Hello, PHP, my old friend.

Anna Debenham

Organizations which design systems are constrained to produce designs which are copies of the communication structures of these organizations.

Melvin Conway

In design, complexity is toxic.

Melvin Conway

Good is the enemy of great, but great is the enemy of shipped.

Jeffrey Zeldman

Don't make the user provide information that the system already knows.

Rick Lemons

You're bound to be unhappy if you optimize everything.

Donald E. Knuth

If the programmers like each other, they play a game called 'pair programming'. And if not then the game is called 'peer review'.

Anna Nachesa

Simplicity is prerequisite for reliability.

Edsger W. Dijkstra

Focus on WHY instead of WHAT in your code will make you a better developer

Jordi Boggiano

The best engineers I know are artists at heart. The best designers I know are secretly technicians as well.

Andrei Herasimchuk

Poor management can increase software costs more rapidly than any other factor.

Barry Boehm

If you can't deploy your services independently then they aren't microservices.

Daniel Bryant

If you can't deploy your services independently then they aren't microservices.

Daniel Bryant

No one hates software more than software developers.

Jeff Atwood

The proper use of comments is to compensate for our failure to express ourself in code.

Robert C. Martin

Code is like humor. When you have to explain it, it's bad.

Cory House

Fix the cause, not the symptom.

Steve Maguire

Programmers are constantly making things more complicated than they need to be BECAUSE FUTURE. Fuck the future. Program for today.

David Heinemeier Hansson

People will realize that software is not a product; you use it to build a product.

Linus Torvalds

Design is choosing how you will fail.

Ron Fein

Focus is saying no to 1000 good ideas.

Steve Jobs

Code never lies, comments sometimes do.

Ron Jeffries