Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live.
Martin Golding
All computers wait at the same speed.
Unknown
A misplaced decimal point will always end up where it will do the greatest damage.
Unknown
A good programmer looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.
Unknown
A computer program does what you tell it to do, not what you want it to do.
Unknown
"Intel Inside" is a Government Warning required by Law.
Unknown
Common sense gets a lot of credit that belongs to cold feet.
Arthur Godfrey
Chuck Norris doesn’t go hunting. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Unknown
Chuck Norris counted to infinity... twice.
Unknown
C is quirky, flawed, and an enormous success.
Unknown
Beta is Latin for still doesn’t work.
Unknown
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
Unknown
Artificial Intelligence usually beats natural stupidity.
Unknown
Any fool can use a computer. Many do.
Ted Nelson
Hey! It compiles! Ship it!
Unknown
Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
Martin Luther King Junior
Guns don’t kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.
Unknown
God is real, unless declared integer.
Unknown
First, solve the problem. Then, write the code.
John Johnson
Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.
Oscar Wilde
Every piece of software written today is likely going to infringe on someone else’s patent.
Miguel de Icaza
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
Unknown
Computers do not solve problems, they execute solutions.
Unknown
I have NOT lost my mind—I have it backed up on tape somewhere.
Unknown
If brute force doesn’t solve your problems, then you aren’t using enough.
Unknown
It works on my machine.
Unknown
Java is, in many ways, C++??.
Unknown
Keyboard not found...Press any key to continue.
Unknown
Life would be so much easier if we only had the source code.
Unknown
Mac users swear by their Mac, PC users swear at their PC.
Unknown
Microsoft is not the answer. Microsoft is the question. "No" is the answer.
Unknown
MS-DOS isn’t dead, it just smells that way.
Unknown
Only half of programming is coding. The other 90% is debugging.
Unknown
Pasting code from the Internet into production code is like chewing gum found in the street.
Unknown
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
Unknown
Profanity is the one language all programmers know best.
Unknown
The best thing about a boolean is even if you are wrong, you are only off by a bit.
Unknown
The nice thing about standards is that there are so many to choose from.
Unknown
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can’t.
Unknown
There is no place like 127.0.0.1
Unknown
There is nothing quite so permanent as a quick fix.
Unknown
There’s no test like production.
Unknown
To err is human, but for a real disaster you need a computer.
Unknown
Ubuntu is an ancient African word, meaning "can’t configure Debian"
Unknown
UNIX is the answer, but only if you phrase the question very carefully.
Unknown
Usenet is a Mobius strand of spaghetti.
Unknown
Weeks of coding can save you hours of planning.
Unknown
When your computer starts falling apart, stop hitting it with a Hammer!
Unknown
Who is General Failure? And why is he reading my disk?
Unknown
You can stand on the shoulders of giants OR a big enough pile of dwarfs, works either way.
Unknown
You start coding. I’ll go find out what they want.
Unknown
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
Douglas Adams
I think we agree, the past is over.
George W. Bush
In order to be irreplaceable, one must always be different.
Coco Chanel
In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes.
Andy Warhol
In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.
Robert Frost
It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.
Douglas Adams
It’s kind of fun to do the impossible.
Walt Disney
Java is to JavaScript what Car is to Carpet.
Chris Heilmann
Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers.
Voltaire
Just don’t create a file called -rf.
Larry Wall
Knowledge is power.
Francis Bacon
Let’s call it an accidental feature.
Larry Wall
Linux is only free if your time has no value.
Jamie Zawinski
Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight.
Bill Gates
Never trust a computer you can’t throw out a window.
Steve Wozniak
Nobody expects the Spanish inquisition.
Monty Python
On the Internet, nobody knows you’re a dog.
Peter Steiner
One man’s constant is another man’s variable.
Alan J. Perlis
People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.
Faith Resnick
Perl - The only language that looks the same before and after RSA encryption.
Keith Bostic
PHP – Yeah, you know me.
PHPaughty by PHPature
The future is here. It is just not evenly distributed yet.
William Gibson
The greatest performance improvement of all is when a system goes from not-working to working.
John Ousterhout
Software is like sex: It’s better when it’s free.
Linus Torvalds
Sour, sweet, bitter, pungent, all must be tasted.
Chinese Proverb
Stay hungry, stay foolish.
Whole Earth Catalog
The artist belongs to his work, not the work to the artist.
Novalis
The only "intuitive" interface is the nipple. After that it’s all learned.
Bruce Ediger
The only completely consistent people are the dead.
Aldous Huxley
The problem with troubleshooting is that trouble shoots back.
Unknown Author
The three great virtues of a programmer: laziness, impatience, and hubris.
Larry Wall
Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
Douglas Adams
When debugging, novices insert corrective code; experts remove defective code.
Richard Pattis
When in doubt, leave it out.
Joshua Bloch
Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy if both are frozen.
Edward V Berard
We cannot learn without pain.
Aristotle
We have always been shameless about stealing great ideas.
Steve Jobs
You can kill a man but you can’t kill an idea.
Medgar Evers
You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.
Scott Adams
You must have chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Without requirements or design, programming is the art of adding bugs to an empty "text" file.
Louis Srygley
Sometimes it pays to stay in bed on Monday, rather than spending the rest of the week debugging Monday’s code.
Dan Salomon
You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.
Wayne Gretzky
One of the biggest problems that software developers face is that technology changes rapidly. It is very hard to stay current.
Vivek Wadhwa
Ideas want to be ugly.
Jason Santa Maria
Developer: an organism that turns coffee into code.
Unknown
One man´s crappy software is another man´s full time job.
Jessica Gaston
It´s okay to figure out murder mysteries, but you shouldn´t need to figure out code. You should be able to read it.
Steve McConnell
Programming languages, like pizzas, come in only two sizes: too big and too small.
Richard Pattis
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning.
Rich Cook
Plan to throw one (implementation) away; you will, anyhow.
Fred Brooks
Every good work of software starts by scratching a developer´s personal itch
Unknown
Perfection (in design) is achieved not when there is nothing more to add, but rather when there is nothing more to take away.
Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Prolific programmers contribute to certain disaster.
Niklaus Wirth
Programming can be fun, so can cryptography; however they should not be combined.
Kreitzberg and Shneiderman
It´s better to wait for a productive programmer to become available than it is to wait for the first available programmer to become productive.
Steve McConnell
An organization that treats its programmers as morons will soon have programmers that are willing and able to act like morons only.
Bjarne Stroustrup
Real programmers can write assembly code in any language.
Larry Wall
The key to performance is elegance, not battalions of special cases.
Jon Bentley, Doug McIlroy
Inside every large program, there is a program trying to get out.
C.A.R. Hoare
Why do we never have time to do it right, but always have time to do it over?
Unknown
The goal of Computer Science is to build something that will last at least until we´ve finished building it.
Unknown
A good way to stay flexible is to write less code.
Pragmatic Programmer
The best performance improvement is the transition from the nonworking state to the working state.
John Ousterhout
No matter what the problem is, it´s always a people problem.
Gerald M. Weinberg
Every big computing disaster has come from taking too many ideas and putting them in one place.
Gordon Bell
Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later!
Fred Brooks
The best way to get a project done faster is to start sooner
Jim Highsmith
Even the best planning is not so omniscient as to get it right the first time.
Fred Brooks
All you need is love. But a new pair of shoes never hurt anybody.
Unknown
The best revenge is massive success.
Frank Sinatra
Reality itself is too obvious to be true.
Jean Baudrillard
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
Oscar Wilde
Let me just change this one line of code…
Unknown
Fast, Good, Cheap. Pick two.
Unknown
Did you know? The collective noun for a group of programmers is a merge-conflict.
Unknown
If there is no struggle, there is no progress.
Frederick Douglass
You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.
Albert Einstein
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Albert Einstein
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Albert Einstein
A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.
Albert Einstein
Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.
Albert Einstein
When the solution is simple, God is answering.
Albert Einstein
If you can´t explain it simply, you don´t understand it well enough.
Albert Einstein
If the facts don´t fit the theory, change the facts.
Albert Einstein
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
Albert Einstein
I only believe in statistics that I doctored myself.
Winston S. Churchill?
Men and nations behave wisely when they have exhausted all other resources.
Abba Eban
If you´re going through hell, keep going.
Unknown
Success is not forever and failure isn´t fatal.
Don Shula
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
Mark Twain
The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
Mark Twain
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
Mark Twain
Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.
Mark Twain
Plans are worthless, but planning is everything.
Dwight D. Eisenhower
Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.
Will Ferrell
I just invent, then wait until man comes around to needing what I´ve invented.
R. Buckminster Fuller
The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up.
Muriel Siebert
If you can't write it down in English, you can't code it.
Peter Halpern
Suspicion is healthy. It’ll keep you alive.
Laurell K. Hamilton
People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.
Faith Resnick
If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t, either.
Dick Cavett
Sometimes I think we´re alone in the universe & sometimes I think we´re not. In either case the idea is quite staggering
Arthur C. Clarke
Talk is cheap, show me the code!
Linus Torvalds
They did not know it was impossible, so they did it!
Mark Twain
You are what you share.
Charles Leadbeater
You want it in one line? Does it have to fit in 80 columns?
Larry Wall
The Internet? Is that thing still around?
Homer Simpson
The journey is the destination.
Dan Eldon
OO programming offers a sustainable way to write spaghetti code. It lets you accrete programs as a series of patches.
Paul Graham
Ruby is rubbish! PHP is phpantastic!
Nikita Popov
So long and thanks for all the fish!
Douglas Adams
If I had more time, I would have written a shorter letter.
Cicero
The best reaction to "this is confusing, where are the docs" is to rewrite the feature to make it less confusing, not write more docs.
Jeff Atwood
The older I get, the more I believe that the only way to become a better programmer is by not programming.
Jeff Atwood
"That hardly ever happens" is another way of saying "it happens".
Douglas Crockford
Hello, PHP, my old friend.
Anna Debenham
Organizations which design systems are constrained to produce designs which are copies of the communication structures of these organizations.
Melvin Conway
In design, complexity is toxic.
Melvin Conway
Good is the enemy of great, but great is the enemy of shipped.
Jeffrey Zeldman
Don't make the user provide information that the system already knows.
Rick Lemons
You're bound to be unhappy if you optimize everything.
Donald E. Knuth
If the programmers like each other, they play a game called 'pair programming'. And if not then the game is called 'peer review'.
Anna Nachesa
Simplicity is prerequisite for reliability.
Edsger W. Dijkstra
Focus on WHY instead of WHAT in your code will make you a better developer
Jordi Boggiano
The best engineers I know are artists at heart. The best designers I know are secretly technicians as well.
Andrei Herasimchuk
Poor management can increase software costs more rapidly than any other factor.
Barry Boehm
If you can't deploy your services independently then they aren't microservices.
Daniel Bryant
If you can't deploy your services independently then they aren't microservices.
Daniel Bryant
No one hates software more than software developers.
Jeff Atwood
The proper use of comments is to compensate for our failure to express ourself in code.
Robert C. Martin
Code is like humor. When you have to explain it, it's bad.
Cory House
Fix the cause, not the symptom.
Steve Maguire
Programmers are constantly making things more complicated than they need to be BECAUSE FUTURE. Fuck the future. Program for today.
David Heinemeier Hansson
People will realize that software is not a product; you use it to build a product.
Linus Torvalds
Design is choosing how you will fail.
Ron Fein
Focus is saying no to 1000 good ideas.
Steve Jobs
Code never lies, comments sometimes do.
Ron Jeffries